I'm not really sure where to begin...
There's no place like home.
Home is Where the Heart Is.
I have no home.
I've known it was coming, Everyone and everything leaving. But it hurts so much more than I thought it would.
In the last 4 months, I've lost my grandma, and my home. Next will come my job, as now I have to find something that pays better. They are not the first things I have lost, or that have left. That's kind of the point of life, isn't it? Everyone and everything leaves.
At least that's the case for me.
I can't tell you how terribly sad I am about losing my home. My heart is beyond broken, and no amount of effort, or work, or prayer has or will change that. I am physically, emotionally, and spiritually broken. No one cares though, and it's no use talking to anyone about it because all I am told is that this is "for the best," and "will be a great experience." You know what? Feeling safe is great, and having a home that you feel loved in is great. Now I have nothing, and it will quickly become less. Now I truly am alone and unwanted. Something I have always known, but that has been made painfully permanent.
Even my grandma left, and that hurts more than I am willing to discuss.
Every time I reach the bottom of the barrel, I am surprised to find that there is another layer of sadness below.
And everyone else is excited the house is for sale.
And I am torn apart.
I'm tired of being taken advantage of, and having my time wasted. I'm tired of people acting like they care, and then leaving. I get it. I'm gross, and ugly, and not worth people's time. I'm not good enough to be with, or stay for. I get it. Don't mock me in the process. And don't lecture me about how wrong I am when so much evidence exists to the contrary.
I'm powerless to make it stop. I'm useless in trying to fix it.
And now I will truly be alone.
Congrats, world. You win. Life f'ing sucks.