Do you feel like no matter what you do, you're going to fail; and if you don't fail, there's inevitably someone there whose going to tell you how you did it wrong?
Do you ever try to be understanding of others, but have your own ideas, and choices thrown back in your face?
Perhaps it's just me.
Whether or not it's true, right, or acknowledged, I feel like that a lot. Like my ideas don't matter. If I try to involve myself, I get lectured about how I'm living wrong. If I stay away, the lectures are about how I'm the problem, the alienator, and the selfish brat.
So which way is it? How do I win? Or at the very least gain a little?
I'm not sure there is a way. I'm just trying to live, and sad that the negatives- the lectures and scrutiny- out weigh the feeling of love, pride & appreciation.
My feelings have become tender and broken. My heart is a mess. I'm just trying to figure it out. But I guess I'm doing that wrong too.
I drew this picture of my heart. I'm hoping the fortifications will make it stronger. I fear it will only hurt it more.
