It's a concept I have been mulling over recently. What makes pleasure so much more desirable for so many?
I would think that the idea of love - of loving someone - would bring with it pleasure, which in turn, would be pleasurable. But I am very inexperienced, so chances are I am wrong.
What I would like, is someone that would like to be with me. I don't want to be with someone that spends every moment in my company texting someone else, or telling me about how all the ladies that pass by are "hot." I'd like to be the hot one. I'd like to feel special. I'd like to feel like my company is worth putting the phone away for a few hours.
But I'm not that girl.
I strive to be that person when I am with others, however. I want to be supportive, and show who I'm with that they're special and valued, because they are. I put my phone on silent and tuck it away. There's nothing so important that I can't devote a few uninterrupted hours to someone of meaning. At least I think so.
But perhaps I just don't understand.
Perhaps that's why I'm still alone.
... and "unclaimed treasure," as I heard recently.
I'll probably always be unclaimed. But that's ok. I want the love, and the pleasure that comes with it.
I want to feel valued, to be the only girl in the room.
Pleasure by itself is like refined sugar. Yummy, but not good for you. It leaves you wanting, and in need of exercise!
Love, I think, is a dying concept. Support is a rarity.
Like a beautiful flower, it doesn't happen often.
...and even if it does...
more often than not it is unwanted.
It makes me sad.