How sad that I have had to learn how true this is.
You know, I have never had a best friend that has also considered me their best friend. I thought I had that. I thought establishing a relationship of almost 2 years would have shown that to be the case, but it's amazing how quickly that can change when carnal pleasures and manipulation come into play.
I'm terribly heartbroken over what I have lost, and find that some days are harder than others to get through.
But, I have been told that it gets easier.
Still, I find it hard to wrap my thoughts around how quickly 2 years can be destroyed in a matter of weeks...
...and not just destroyed, but demolished to the point where I can not longer trust. Where I feel unsafe in my own home. Where I wish desperately I had a new car, that is not as easily recognizable as the one I currently have. Where everything I said, and did and thought and gave became nothing more than sad memories and hurtful thoughts. Where all of those things given and experienced in love - trips to the beach, watching movies, conversations, everything - can be used against me.
And all because of deceit and pride.
I've lost faith.
I've lost trust.
I've lost what I thought was my best friend.
But I found out that, once again, I was not a best friend.
I'm not sure what I was.
Someday I hope to have a best friend that TRULY thinks of me as the same.
Someone that will be truthful and honest.
Someone that, if we disagree, will come back and talk to me about it. Who will apologize and accept an apology.
Someone who does what they preach, instead of expecting to live above the rules.
Someone who thinks I'm good enough to be a best friend with and for.
Beware the insincere friend.
They make life a hellish nightmare.