1. An assortment of small, foil-wrapped chocolates & mini eggs
2. A Reese's Peanut Butter Egg
3. A Hershey's Chocolate Bunny
4. 3 (Yes, THREE) Cadbury Eggs
Red-handed Easter thief gifts (aka, things I kifed):
1. 2 pieces of Ghirardelli chocolate
2. 2 small sugar cookies
3. A handful of bunny-shaped marshmallows
and
4. A Large Solid Chocolate Hershey's Bunny
My tummy hates me today.
...typical.
This is what happens when you buy pre-made Easter Cotton Candy, and leave it until Easter.
(Please note the pink hockey puck in the bottom of the container; which has NOT yet been opened.)
I'm a little frightened to eat it now...
What if I chip a tooth?
Easter = Mexican Family Party
I was "counseled" about my lack of romantical prospects, and was told I should go out alone and look available.
I go out alone.
I only go out alone.
Let me break it down, so people will stop trying to be helpful.
1. No man/boy/member of the opposite sex has shown any interest in me as anything more than a friend. Usually said friendship is on a "don't call us, we'll call you" basis. This happens over and over until said friendship fails to exsist. Hence, the reoccurring lack of friends, and opportunity to always go out alone.
Example: I went on a trip to Disneyland by myself for several days one summer. You know you're in trouble when you escort yourself to a fancy Disney dinner, only to have characters come and give you pitiful pats on the head as you eat your salad alone in the midst squealing, joyous children, and parents with migraines...
A new low when even fluffy costumed characters pity you...
2. I have put myself out there. That's why I don't anymore. If you don't understand, please refer to #1. The only difference is that if I proclaim my interest, it is usually accompanied by a general look of horror before the giant dust cloud from the speedy exit knocks me to the floor.
3. Due to 1 & 2, I have come to the conclusion that I'm an ugly, she-man with a monkey face whose smell is so horrific that no matter how engaging I might be in conversation, it is not enough to make people stay.
(This even happens at church - where people are required to at least be fake-nice.)
And since all data suggests that I am right...
It must be true.
On that grumpy note, I share a picture of the rarely-seen, she-man, monkey-faced girl. This was taken yesterday - unbeknownst to the photo's subject.
...honestly...
I think I'm kinda pretty.
But again, the lack of hot dates, chocolate boxes (freak, I had to steal my own chocolate!), and lavish jewelry, beg the question:
Are you delusional?!
Easter.
(And scene.)