I can't sleep.
I'm having one of those "woe-is me" episodes...
I'm a girl. I'm allowed.
I was thinking about love, and the definition. Thought I'd share:
Love:
1. Strong Affection
2. To feel a passion, devotion or tenderness for
3. Attraction based on sexual desire
4. A beloved person; cherish
5. Unselfish, loyal and benevolent care for others
6. A score of zero (as in tennis)
So what does any of this have to do with me? Nothing, really. I mean, I have people in my life I love, and that I know love me, (ie, my family & friends) but that's all I have. A bit distressing, yes, but true (and appreciated) all the same.
I've had people in my life that I would have liked to love romantically, but when they found out that was the case, they very slowly backed away...
Huh. My pasture must not be very green...
I can honestly say that I have never had anyone like me - much less love me - in a romantic way. I guess it's just not in the cards. I mean, I look back on the romance in my life up to this point, and use that to gauge the possibility of future romantic endeavors and see a whole lot of nothin'...
...well, ... that sucks.
Personally, I think I deserve to be loved. I think everyone does. I want to be adored, and adore someone in return. I want someone to want to kiss me until I can't breathe. I want someone whose familiar and beloved face I can wake up to each morning, and go to sleep looking at each night. I want someone I can support, and cherish for the person they are, and the better person that they allow me to be by doing so.
Is that really such a lofty thing to want?
It's posts like this that make me glad I turned off the comments section of my blog. No disrespect, but I get a lot of people trying to give me advice on the topic of love. But they have all been loved before, so they don't understand how I feel. I appreciate people listening, but sometimes it's nice to be heard.
So, I'm just putting it out there in the cosmos...
...'cuz I can't sleep...
...and it was something to do.
Actually, it's kind of funny that despite my girlie-rant I still romantically fall under the definition of love...
(See definition #6)
Too bad I don't play tennis! :)